It's called a lift, now sod off!
Today I saw an American. I saw him on the underground. I know he was an American because he said “bada-bing, bada-boom”
He stepped into the lift at Bond Street Station and said, “This elevator’s the bomb.”
No. Not an elevator. Not a bomb. It’s called a lift.
Henceforth, I have compiled a list of games to play on Americans if ever you have the misfortune of meeting one in a lift:
- When there's only one other person in the lift, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
- Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
- Ask if you can push the button for them, and then push the wrong ones.
- Ask: "Did you feel that?"
- Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
- Ask them if they’re American. When they say they are, ask them if that means they’re from America. Then get really excited because you once had a friend who went to America.
- Wait a moment, then ask them if they know your friend.
- When the doors close, explain to the American: "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
- Tell them you can see their aura.
- Admit things to them. Intimate things.
- Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
posted by Shmuls at 4:10 pm
3 people wanted to say something:
in general, just act all european. you know, to piss him off.
2:05 am, June 30, 2005
Some good ideas there! ;)
4:49 pm, February 11, 2007
Do what Russell Peter recomended to do with Englishmen. Ask where they are from. Then tell them you never heard of the US. And ask where it is. They answer, "The place under Canada" Respond with, "Mexico?" Try that.
10:17 pm, January 01, 2008
Say something yourself...
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